Relationship Advice I Wish I Would Have Gotten Much Earlier in Life!

Here is my firm belief, according to Genesis in the Holy Bible, God created us in His image because he wanted a family to love. That’s why He gave us free will, so that we could choose to love Him in return for all He created for us. Not so different than how many of us feel about our Earthly, human families, is it? I have always read a lot about relationships because I am, by nature, a person who enjoys being with other people. I’ve always had an interest in what makes people tick. I remember the first time I took a long drive with a new boyfriend. As an attempt to make conversation and get to know him better while we were driving I said, to him, “What are you thinking about right now?”

His response was, ”That’s a very invasive question, I don’t want to say.” I was so insulted! I could barely respond. The rest of the drive was very quiet. That should have been the first red flag that we had communication issues to address.

People tell us what we need to know about them from the very beginning but too often we ignore the signs that show us who they truly are until it’s too late and we’ve invested ourselves, time and effort into the relationship. Then it becomes difficult to disengage from them. How often have you looked back over a relationship and had to admit to yourself that you should have seen certain qualities, habits, or behaviors that were a foreshadowing of what was to come but you ignored them. This has happened to me so many times in my life that I can’t even count them!  Here are a few examples of recurring themes from my previous relationships:

What they SAID...

What they really MEANT, and what the truth actually was...

I’m an independent contractor

I am unable to hold down a real job

I don’t date very often

When I try to ask for a date, the answer is usually NO.

I forgot my wallet

I am broke, and don’t have money to spend on taking you out.

I’m a pretty quiet person and don’t talk much.

I am so boring that I have nothing to chat about, and, I have no social skills.

I  am not comfortable answering that question

I'm a bit of a jerk. If I tell you the truth about what I really think, you will not like me. Let’s change the subject!

I’m not interested in ever getting married.

I am too selfish to make the sacrifices that it takes to be a married person, unless you prove to me that you’re willing to put up with my laziness by dating me for more than 2 years and are able to tolerate my selfishness because by then, I will have you so embedded into my life and family that you won’t be able or willing to leave me.


My desire is to save you time, money, and frustration. While this post may seem a little bold, it is at, least to the point, yes? Don’t fool yourself. Tell yourself the truth in the kindest way possible. The above advice is based solely on my own personal experiences. I have learned that a great , healthy relationship is should be based on being unselfish, patient, kind, and always wanting the best for another person. Whether you are in a partnership, a friendship, spousal relationship, it’s described perfectly in 1 Corinthians verse 13. IMG 0116

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Sunday, 25 February 2018

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